The year was 2017, and I was living in 3 bedroom apartment in the Lower East Side. As young, hungover, strapping young professionals do on a Sunday evening – we searched to find a good scary movie to enjoy and stave off the Sunday Scaries. The true reason for us selecting The Void (2017) is unfortunately lost to time, but at 75+% on the other RT movie review aggregating site – “sure, why not” we said. It had a great trailer, great reviews, hell even the first 15-30 minutes were objectively great. If you’ve never had the unfortunate pleasure of watching this abortion of a film, consider yourself blessed that you’ve basically avoided watching the Hindenburg Disaster. From that day forward we said never again! Never again will we allow our content consumption to be dictated by stuffy movie critics talking about the “art of filmmaking” or “the cinematography was stellar” when any normal person fell asleep after the first 30 minutes.
Now you might be saying “Colin, this story is from 2017, you barely even have any movie reviews on this site.” To that I say, fair point. I’ve had the idea for a review site for normal people for years but never acted on it. For that, I’m sorry. I could have and should have been saving the masses from “great” films that are truly terrible such as Suspiria (2018), absolutely fuck that movie.
About the Rating Scale:
All views are my own, and if you disagree you’re objectively wrong. If a movie is “terrible” according to critics but highly entertaining – yea that’s probably going to get a good score. If the movie is “groundbreaking” but I fell asleep halfway thru – guess what your movie sucks.